Metaphorical Dreams of a Broken Soul
by mdelpin
Summary: Natsu earns a book of magic spells as a reward for his first solo job. He offers it to Levy who teaches him a spell in exchange. A spell that will let him into someone else's dream. All Natsu wants is to prank Gray, to challenge him to a fight when he least expects it, but Natsu could never have imagined what Gray dreams of...
1. Chapter 1 - Dreams

Gratsu Week 2019

Prompt: Dreams

"A book?!" Natsu looked at the object in his hands with equal parts disgust and dismay. "I didn't do all this for a stinkin' book, Lady!"

The woman shrugged and showed Natsu the part of the request where it listed the reward before walking away with a wave.

_Damn it!_

Natsu looked at the item in his hands with dismay. He didn't want to return to the guild with nothing but a moldy old book to show for his efforts. It was his first solo mission after all.

He certainly didn't need another lecture from that Erza on how he needed to learn how to read better. She thought she was so special 'cause she was scary. And he certainly didn't want to have to deal with Gray's stupid smirking face.

What he _did_ want was to make jewels so he could eat. He had half a mind to burn the insulting book, but then he wouldn't even be able to eat the fire, and it would just be a complete waste. Maybe Levy would like it.

Levy McGarden was a sweet girl who had joined the guild after he had. She didn't talk much yet, and not much was known about her, but one thing was for sure, that girl sure liked to read. Maybe if Natsu gifted her the book, she would be his friend. Natsu liked making friends, it kept him from feeling lonely.

The busier Natsu kept himself, the less time he had to think of Igneel. So he practiced his magic every day, determined to impress Igneel when they met up again. He sparred with Gray as often as he could. He might not like the ice mage all that much, but he had to admit the bastard was a good opponent. He ran errands for Jii-chan and basically filled his day with noise until he fell into an exhausted heap on his bed in the boy's dorm.

Natsu decided to go in search of odd jobs that would pay him jewels he could then pretend to have earned on his job. He lucked out at the first place he went and did some boring manual labor for a few hours before heading back to the guild. _Take that stupid Gray! _

Natsu kicked the door of the guild open and announced loudly, "I'm back everybody!"

A few of the guild members welcomed him back and asked him how his first mission went. He looked over to where Erza was standing and gave her a big toothy smile when he saw she looked proud of him. The half-naked pervert looked flushed and out of breath and Natsu had no idea why but he shrugged it off, happy to bask in the affection he received from the older guild members.

Remembering the reward he'd earned, Natsu walked over to the table where Levy was sitting and plopped across from her. He placed the book on the table and gently pushed it towards the girl. Levy smiled at him shyly, before grabbing it from the table.

"What's this?" She asked with great interest, looking at the cover. Her eyes widened when she saw the title. "Natsu, this is a book of magic spells!"

"You can read that?" Natsu could see how excited the girl looked just from reading the cover, and he was happy to have thought of giving it to her.

"Well, kinda. I've been learning some languages, and this one seems very familiar," Levy admitted, her eyes never straying from the symbols in front of her. "May I?"

"Knock yourself out," Realizing he was starving, Natsu left her with the book as he hurried to order some food. The bartender promised to deliver his order to the table, and Natsu rushed back, curious to see what Levy had uncovered.

"Well?" Natsu asked curiously, noticing the excitement on Levy's face had not diminished one bit.

"There are a lot of spells in here, look at this one," Levy pointed to the page she was reading, "This one lets the caster inject themself into someone else's dream."

"You can see what someone is dreaming?" Natsu asked, trying to sound impressed although that idea didn't interest him much.

"No, it's so much more than that. You can go inside the dream, and you can interact with stuff," Levy explained as she continued reading the contents of the pages.

When Natsu still looked confused, Levy thought about how to explain it better, "So say you went into Erza's dream," Levy giggled as Natsu immediately scoffed in protest. "You could challenge her to a fight, and even if she beat you up in the dream you'd be totally fine!"

Now that sounded more interesting, it had definite prank potential, and Natsu loved nothing more than a good prank. He didn't even mind being on the receiving end. He looked over at Gray, who had taken his regular spot next to Cana. He appeared to be back to normal now.

What did Gray dream about? Natsu wondered before dismissing the thought. He was sure it was probably something stupid, but wouldn't it be fun to surprise him in his dream and challenge him to a fight? Natsu thought something like that would definitely be worth his while.

"Listen, Levy," Natsu smiled his most charming smile, his insides churning with glee, "If you teach me that spell, the book is yours!"

"Really?" Levy's eyes widened as she thought about it, she hadn't been in the guild long enough to realize what sort of power she was handing over to Natsu. "Okay, let's do it!"

While Natsu ate his mountain of food, Levy read the page over and over making sure she understood everything so that she could teach Natsu. They went out the back door and Levy spent the next few hours learning how challenging it was to teach Natsu anything that required attention, but they muddled through, and when she was sure he had it she ran back inside with her new treasure and Natsu was sure he'd made a new friend.

Natsu went back to the boy's dorm, rubbing his hands together with glee.

_Oh Fullbuster, you are in for it tonight!_

He practiced the words over and over, he hadn't actually been able to try it out on anyone since everyone was awake so he'd have to hope for the best.

When Gray finally arrived at the dorm, Natsu tried not to show any more interest than he usually would. He knew Gray's going to bed routine as well as his own, although Natsu tended to fall asleep before the ice mage.

He pretended to be asleep when he heard a faint knock on his door, along with a whispered _Congratulations on your first solo job_, the words so soft Natsu thought he'd imagined them. He felt a sudden warmth in his chest he couldn't identify. Gray had complimented him, and even though he knew he hadn't been meant to hear it, it still brought a smile to his face. He really did have a new family.

Natsu thought about what he was planning to do, feeling a tad guilty about it but the prank potential was too high. He couldn't wait to see Gray's reaction when he popped up in his dream! He waited impatiently for the Ice Block to fall asleep, waiting for an agonizing extra hour to make sure he would already be dreaming.

He cast the spell and then….

Natsu looked around, trying to understand his surroundings. Just where was he supposed to be, and why the hell was it so cold? He knew the Ice Prick liked the cold, but he dreamt about it too? Creepy!

Natsu found himself shivering at the unexpected temperature, not sure how this whole thing worked he wished for a coat but when it didn't materialize, he figured he only had limited control over the dream.

_Why couldn't the prick dream up a nice warm beach instead of this cold dark place?_

Natsu grumbled through the discomfort as best he could, reminding himself he'd be warm enough once he and Gray began their fight. He called on a bit of his fire magic to keep him warm and was glad to see he could at least access his magic.

He picked a random direction and began walking. Silence saturated the air, and it felt ominous to him, although he couldn't pinpoint why. Natsu was growing impatient.

Where the heck was Gray hiding? He came looking for a fight, not whatever this was.

He seemed to be in a small town, smaller than Magnolia anyway. It looked pretty nice, although the frigid temperature was enough to make Natsu never wish to visit it in real life. Was this where Gray was from?

Natsu didn't really know much about Gray's life before the guild. The ice mage was so private it was almost like pulling teeth to get him to disclose anything about himself, including his favorite color. Natsu rolled his eyes, he was such a prissy Princess. An Ice Princess. Natsu giggled at the nickname he'd just come up with.

Oh hell yeah he was saving that one for later. He and Gray engaged in an almost constant war, and insults and nicknames were a large part of it. He'd yet to come up with anything as demeaning as Pinky, but this might do it. His eyes lit up with anticipation at the thought.

Natsu studied the buildings curiously, was Gray dreaming about his childhood? Then he'd probably be at his house. Natsu scratched his head, trying to figure out where that might be precisely before shrugging in defeat.

All the buildings looked similar to him, he crossed his arms behind his neck and continued walking until he detected a familiar scent. Once his nose had locked on to it, he zeroed in.

"Found you!" Natsu yelled triumphantly as he snuck behind Gray, who looked a few years younger than he did now.

He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, Gray was hard to figure out after all, but nothing could have prepared Natsu for the fear that blazed in Gray's eyes.

"Natsu?"

Natsu was about to respond, but before he could say anything, Gray had grabbed him roughly by the hand and pulled him behind him as he moved between the buildings.

_Hell no! _Natsu struggled against Gray's grip, his cheeks flushed with rage at the idea of his rival holding his hand even if it was only to be dragged behind him like a sack of potatoes.

Finally managing to wrest himself free, he stood before Gray, not exactly sure of what to do since he didn't understand what was happening. Gray Fullbuster was not the type of mage to cower from anything, so why was he acting like a scared animal?

"What's the matter with you?" Natsu yelled loudly, "Why are you hiding like a coward?"

"Be quiet," Gray hissed urgently, "He'll hear you!"

"He? He who?" Natsu lowered his voice a bit, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get anything out of Gray if he just went into their default fight mode. What the hell had he gotten himself into? This was nothing like what he'd expected.

Natsu studied Gray carefully, letting his enhanced senses pick out details he'd ignored before. The way Gray's normally droopy eyes were open wide as he stared at Natsu with pupils blown wide, beads of sweat dripping from his forehead.

His nose detected the faint smell of rust well before his eyes noticed the blood that was covering Gray's hands. _What the hell?_ He looked down at his own hands, but they were clean.

"Gray?" Natsu called out to his rival softly, not wanting to spook him but he was too late because Gray chose that moment to notice.

"No, no, no...not yet," Gray pleaded, although to whom Natsu had no clue.

Natsu felt the ground beneath them begin to shake, followed by screams and an unintelligible grunt both loud and terrifying. The change in Gray was more confusing still, his body tensed up, and his eyes darted around them even as they regularly fell back to Natsu.

"I have to get you out of here before it's too late," Gray muttered to himself, and frankly Natsu was getting seriously freaked out.

Of all the fucking times to try this spell, he'd picked a night when Gray was having a nightmare.

"Gray, it's fine. It's only a dream," Natsu tried to calm his friend down, but he was having none of it. "Oy, Ice Princess, dreams can't hurt you."

Gray looked at him strangely, for a moment looking like he wanted to react to the new nickname, but instead, he just snapped, "That's what you think."

Once again, he grabbed Natsu's hand and pulled him along behind him, ignoring the fire mage's loud protests. There was no furtive sneaking this time around. No, this time, Gray was running as fast as if they were in the middle of one of their challenges. His grip was like steel, and it didn't matter how hard Natsu pulled there was no give. With an internal sigh, he decided to play along until he could figure out more of what was happening.

Natsu could see that some of the buildings they ran past were now covered in flames and there were lots of other people running around screaming, but only Gray seemed to know where to go.

Bodies were lying scattered on the ground, some of the injures were hard to look at, the bodies mangled and Natsu couldn't think of what could do that much damage, but others looked like they'd merely been trampled and Natsu wanted to stop and help them.

He kept telling himself this was only a dream, these people weren't really hurt, but Gray's reaction to the whole situation was making it hard. Natsu looked down at the snow sadly as the previously pristine snow was now covered in a dull red coating.

Gray finally stopped behind a large building, he was holding on to his stomach, looking as if he was going to retch at any moment, and Natsu couldn't blame him cause he felt the same way.

"I," Natsu panted, having a hard time getting any words out, "I - can't - run - anymore."

He slid his body down the facade of the building, letting it sink into the snow, for once enjoying the cold wetness that seeped through his clothes as it cooled down his overheated body.

Gray mirrored his movements, and they rested briefly.

"Where are we?"

"This is Isvan, it's where I grew up," Gray explained, his voice sounding more emotionless than Natsu had ever heard it before. Whatever happened here, it was important.

"You mentioned He, who is He?" Natsu demanded, even as the bestial sounds they'd heard earlier got ever closer. "Is it whoever's making that noise?"

Gray nodded, and there was so much that Natsu wanted to ask, that he needed to know so they could handle this situation, but Gray was remaining stubbornly tight-lipped, and Natsu had had enough.

He couldn't stifle his natural curiosity, even with all the death and destruction that surrounded them, or maybe because of it. Natsu needed to know what was causing it and if Gray wouldn't help, he'd just have to see for himself. No matter how bad the situation was, it was just a dream, and he knew that. Nothing terrible could happen to him while he was in here, Levy had said so.

Without a word to his friend, he took off towards that awful noise, excited at the prospect of fighting a tough opponent. He shrugged off all worry, reminding himself that he'd been raised by a dragon and he fought Erza regularly, how bad could this thing really be?

He tried to ignore the tug at his heart when he heard Gray Fullbuster of all people scream out his name and beg him to come back with a desperation he would never have thought possible. Natsu stopped in his tracks for a moment, feeling a pull he would have denied at any other moment.

He didn't want to hurt Gray, he just wanted to show him there was nothing to be scared of. He made the mistake of looking back and knew he would likely never forget the sight that greeted his eyes. Gray was on the ground, his arm outstretched towards Natsu, tears streaming down his face unabashedly.

Natsu wanted to stay with him, but the creature's draw was too strong, so he turned back around and kept going.

A few minutes later, he dug in his heels as he finally came face to face with the source of all the commotion. His mouth gaped open, his brain struggling to comprehend what he was seeing. It was a monster the likes of which he'd never encountered before, and frankly hoped never to face again.

Igneel might have been enormous, and on occasion, he might have seemed scary, but nothing like this. This monster stood taller than any of the surrounding buildings. It growled loudly even as it aimed a green bolt of energy that disintegrated everything in its path.

Natsu couldn't help but grin, bold in his knowledge that he would be safe no matter what happened. He sauntered towards the monster who was now fixing him with his attention, for the moment seemingly confused by the small child that was fearlessly walking towards it.

Natsu heard the pattering sound of boots falling against the snow and knew Gray had fought against his fear to come for him. Good! Natsu wanted to show him that it was okay to fight against the monsters in your nightmares. It was the only way to keep them from having any control over you.

Gray stood in front of the monster, and even though the ice mage was trembling in fear, Natsu immediately recognized his stance. Gray was going to fight, and Natsu was so proud of him!

He stood next to the ice mage and prepared his own fighting stance, fists lighting up in preparation for the battle. He'd never fought side by side with Gray, and while it was not the fight he'd been looking for when he came into this crazy dream, it was one that excited him. Natsu had already turned it into a competition in his mind. Which one of them would be the one to take the creature down? Or would they be able to work together?

A few minutes later, Natsu snarled with frustration. Gray kept drawing the creature's fire while pushing Natsu out of the way of any danger. Gray's attacks weren't even doing any damage, if anything they were just pissing the monster off more.

Why the hell was he keeping him from fighting?

All of a sudden, Gray tried to move out of the way of one of the monster's energy bolts but ended up tripping over his feet instead. He tried to scramble himself up and out of the way, but it was too late, the beast had already released his energy ray, and even though Natsu knew it was only a dream he couldn't help but react.

His instincts yelled at him to protect Gray at all costs. He quickly positioned himself in front of Gray, ignoring his screams of protest and letting out the biggest roar he was capable of to counter the bolt.

Natsu might as well have lit a match for all the effect it had. He felt the energy bolt go through his body. He screamed in agony as his body disintegrated, furious that Levy had failed to mention that he'd be able to experience pain inside the dream, but part of him felt it served him right for intruding on Gray in this way.

"NAAATSU!" Gray screamed behind him, all the fight going out of him as he watched Natsu disappear into nothingness.

The last thing Natsu heard before finding himself in his own bed was Gray repeating the phrase, "Not you too," as he sobbed piteously while the monster continued to roar in the background.

When Natsu heard Gray moving around the dorm, he feigned sleep and decided right then and there he would never use that spell again.

A/N: I don't usually like to talk about my personal life in these but things are happening that are making it hard for me to write and I'm not sure if I'll have the last chapter ready for tomorrow.

When I'm involved in organizing or running an event I usually work on my entries before the fact because once the event is up and running there are behind the scenes things I have to do that are distracting. For Gratsu Week, I had everything ready but this last story.

On July 16 (First day of Gratsu Week) we found out that my husband was laid off from his job, and in all honesty, I'm having a really hard time focusing let alone writing. So if it's not up tomorrow, I apologize. I'm trying my best, but this is a scary time for us.

Also I will add more tags and characters for the next chapter, it's just too hazy at the moment.


	2. Chapter 2 -Breath(e)

Gratsu Bingo 2019, Gratsu Week 2019

Prompt: Breath(e)

Chapter 2

Gray's eyes opened to pitch darkness. His breathing was ragged, his heart beating so fast it pained his chest. He sat up slowly, cradling his face in the palm of his hand until he felt himself free of the nightmare's hold on him.

He allowed himself a few minutes to calm down before thinking about what had happened. He'd had that nightmare more times than he cared to remember and until today it had always been the same. Why the hell had Natsu shown up? It was bad enough to see Ur or his parents sacrifice themselves for him, but fucking Natsu? That was a nightmare in and of itself.

He could still see the cocky expression on the idiot's face when he ran off to fight Deliora. It was just like him too, rushing in without a single thought in his head as to the consequences.

Even though Gray's breathing had evened out, he still couldn't get Natsu's final screams out of his head.

_Fuck!_ He didn't need this.

Gray wanted to get up and go check on Natsu, just to make sure he was okay even though he knew it was stupid. It was just a dream, it wasn't real. But those screams wouldn't stop echoing in his head.

_Fuck!_

He decided to go out for a walk, and if he happened to pass by Natsu's room, well, that was just a coincidence. It wasn't like he actually cared what happened to him. Once he was assured the idiot was fine, he exited the dorm and spent a few hours walking around Magnolia, trying to make himself tired enough to fall back asleep.

Xxx

Gray had told himself it was a one-time thing. A fluke caused by him following Natsu on his first solo job to make sure he was okay. That had been true for about a week, but now, Natsu had become a permanent fixture of his nightmare. And every time it happened, Gray had to watch Deliora kill his friend. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd woken up to the sound of Natsu's screams ringing in his ears after being forced to watch Natsu disintegrate.

He was having trouble sleeping, and it was making him irritable, especially against the one he held responsible for his misery. Gray knew he was being unfair, it wasn't like Natsu had placed himself there on purpose, but there were just so many times he could watch Natsu die before he had to admit that a part of him also died each time it happened. He loved Ur and his parents deeply, but they only existed in his memories, Natsu was someone he saw every day.

And that confused him. Why Natsu? Why not Erza or Cana? He'd known them longer, and frankly, they were much more pleasant.

No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't come up with a rational explanation. But all of these thoughts naturally made him more aware of Natsu. He started noticing little things that needed improving, stupid stuff like shaky stances and wild punches because whether he admitted it to himself or not, he'd now developed an actual fear that one day Natsu would no longer be there and just maybe it would be his fault.

Still, he told himself it had nothing to do with him being concerned about Natsu. No, it was just that Gray was better at these things, and it was his responsibility as a fellow guild member to correct these weaknesses.

Gray provoked fights as often as he could, pushing them both to become ever stronger. But of course, this only worked when Erza wasn't around. She was determined they be friends even if she had to knock their heads together to accomplish it. While it had given them a healthy fear of Erza, it hadn't really helped their own friendship any.

She would force them together at any opportunity, and Gray began to wonder if she was using them as an excuse to ease her own loneliness. The three of them couldn't be any more different. Probably the only things they had in common was a dark past and their love of fighting, and fight they did.

But they also played, as more and more kids joined the guild, Jiichan was determined to give them as regular of a childhood as he could provide them. Especially given their pasts. So in between jobs, there were trips to the beach and picnics during holidays or special events. There were parties for birthdays and to celebrate accomplishments. They became a family in every sense of the word, but still Gray kept Natsu at a distance.

He never invited Natsu to go on jobs with him, even though he knew how much Natsu preferred to go on missions with others. Even though he thought it might actually be fun for the two of them to fight together for a change. It was a risk he wasn't willing to take.

And that's the way things would have continued if the universe weren't set against him. But it was. How much more evidence did he need? All it took was one job to change everything.

Erza showed up one day carting a ridiculous horn, and to everyone's shock asked Natsu and Gray to help her out on a job. That had quite simply never happened before, and even though they both tried to get out of it, there was no real way they could say no to Erza.

Despite all of Gray's attempts at keeping his distance from Natsu, they'd ended up being on a team together.

Gray had had a bad feeling about the job from the start. It didn't help that he'd had that stupid nightmare the night before or that the new girl, Lucy, had tagged along. He didn't know much about her, but he felt a slight resentment towards her for taking up so much of Natsu's time. Time that Natsu would have otherwise spent fighting with him.

Erza had sent the two of them after the leader of a dark guild, and they'd decided to split up to be able to cover more ground. It was the right decision, but as Gray looked at Natsu's retreating back, he found himself whispering, "Don't die on me" like some lovesick girl.

He found he didn't care, watching Natsu walk away from him had been hard. The genuine fear that something would happen to the Fire Dragon Slayer just for being on a mission with him was an old one and not one he could quickly dispel. His mind immediately going to the last few seconds of his dream. It didn't help that ultimately the villain they'd had to fight was another Demon of Zeref.

But Gray was older now and stronger. Between him, Natsu and Erza they'd been able to defeat the demon made out of Living Magic with ease. And that was a turning point for him.

It took him a while to get used to the idea, but it turned out that unlike what he'd feared initially, being able to keep an eye on Natsu helped calm his anxiety. It also allowed him to do something he never thought he'd want to do. Observe Natsu outside of the guild.

To his amazement, there was a lot more to Natsu than he'd ever given him credit for. Sure he was an annoying cocky asshole, who whined if he didn't get his way, and was utterly useless in a vehicle, but he was also surprisingly kind.

Natsu considered everyone a friend unless they proved themselves otherwise. He was also very forgiving, and when he wasn't afflicted with excess energy or motion sickness, he could be a lot of fun to hang out with. He was incredibly creative as a fighter, able to think his way through difficult opponents and find ways to turn his perceived weaknesses into strengths, and that was something that Gray admired, even if he was loath to admit it.

A more troubling development to Gray was that he found himself admiring Natsu more than was considered normal between friends. Because of the dreaded dream, he'd not only turned Natsu into the most important person in his life for the last seven years but somewhere along the way he'd begun to care for him as well. To want to keep him close, and to do other things he was afraid to acknowledge, not liking what it might say about him.

But Gray was not one to lie to himself, and he'd certainly never felt that way about any of the girls in the guild. In fact, Gray had the nagging suspicion he might be gay.

He was slowly coming to terms with the idea. He hadn't talked to anyone about it, although he had a feeling that Erza had her suspicions. And of course, he had no idea which way Natsu swung, which made everything even more complicated. What did it mean when Lucy hung all over Natsu, and he didn't respond?

With Erza gone on a mission, Gray decided to step back from team jobs until she returned and do some soul searching, figure out what the hell he was feeling and what if anything he wanted to do about it.

He wasn't troubled when Natsu and Lucy were absent from the guild when he arrived. He figured they'd have gone on a job to make some rent money for Lucy.

He sat in his usual spot at the bar, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. He was actually relaxing when Mira noticed an S-Class mission was missing. And then Laxus mentioned he'd seen Happy flying out the window of the forbidden second floor with a piece of paper.

Makarov asked Laxus to go fetch them before they got in over their heads and when the S-Class Mage refused Gray volunteered to go in his stead, hiding his rage so Makarov wouldn't have a reason to deny his request.

Gray rushed to the port city of Hargeon, knowing they'd have to hire a boat to get to the island that had put in the job request. Finding them without much effort, he tried to convince them to come back before they were expelled, or even worse, Erza came looking for them.

He thought he'd been angry when he'd learned about Natsu's recklessness. That was nothing compared to how he felt now that he'd come to in a boat after the moron had knocked him out and tied him up, determined to continue his mission no matter what.

And Gray could feel himself getting sucked into that smile, and those eyes and the unspoken challenge.

Xxx

"It's impossible!" Gray's voice came out in a whisper. They'd fallen into a cave that lay underneath some ancient ruins they'd found while exploring the island, looking for anything that might help them break the curse the island seemed to be under. Not surprisingly, Natsu's recklessness had caused the fall.

Gray still couldn't believe what he was looking at, and he couldn't stop staring. The creature from his nightmares, the one he'd thought had been moved to a glacier somewhere off the Northern Continent was in front of him, its features still in a hideous snarl. Just what had Natsu gotten them into? And Gods, why was Natsu here?

The logical part of his brain understood that Deliora was locked away and in no position to hurt Natsu or anyone, but the panicked part of him that had watched Natsu die more times than he cared to count was freaking out.

"How?"

Just how did Deliora even get to this small island? While he was filled with the familiar dread, he found he almost wanted to touch that ice. To feel his Master, who had given her life to seal his darkness. She'd been forced to cast Iced Shell, turning her body and will into a prison of unmeltable ice.

It had been the only way to defeat the demon, Gray knew that. But it had hurt, and it still haunted him. So much had changed for him since that day, but the guilt he felt at causing his Master's death had never gone away.

"You know what that is?" Lucy asked, her voice full of curiosity.

Gray nodded, not trusting himself to answer yet, his brain jumbled as all his thoughts and fears fought each other for control.

"Are you okay?" Natsu's concerned gaze warmed Gray's heart until he realized there was no reason for it.

Why was Natsu looking at him like that? The only person in the guild that knew anything about what happened to him was Jiichan, and Gray knew he'd never tell anyone. There was something else, having watched Natsu so closely all these years he could easily recognize when Natsu was feeling guilty about something.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Gray responded, feeling puzzled and already trying to think of reasons why Natsu might be feeling guilty. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Uhm, no reason," Natsu looked away and stared at the monster in the ice and then back at Gray again, and now Lucy and Happy were also looking at the Fire Dragon Slayer strangely.

"Flame Brain?"

Natsu ignored him and asked in what passed as quietly for him, "What is that thing?"

Gray stared at him for a moment longer, still trying to make sense of what was going on. It would have to wait though, figuring out why Deliora was here was more important.

"Its name is Deliora. Ten years ago it went around the Northern Continent, destroying everything in its path. No one knew where it came from or how to stop it." Gray's voice sounded flat as he attempted to distance himself from the events that had changed his life so completely.

"My Master, Ur, gave her life to trap it in a prison of unmeltable ice. I don't understand, it should be hundreds of miles from here." Gray looked at his friends, his brow furrowed as he tried to work out the problem in front of them.

"We should keep exploring, " Lucy suggested, "Maybe we can find something that can help explain this."

"You guys can go explore if you want," Gray revealed, "I'm going to stay here until the moon comes out. The villagers said the curse had something to do with the moon. It can't be a coincidence."

Natsu, Lucy, and Happy began to argue about what to do but having already made his decision, Gray tuned them out.

He sat across from the large block of ice and stared at it with hatred. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn't want to take his eyes off the demon. Just as he was beginning to travel through his memories, he felt someone sit next to him. He assumed it would be Lucy wanting to ask a lot of questions, but to his surprise, it was Natsu.

"Okay, that's it," Gray snapped, happy to redirect his frustration to something else. "You're acting strange as hell. What's going on in that pea-sized brain of yours?"

"Nothing, can't a guy just offer support to his friend?" Natsu attempted to look offended at the question but failed miserably.

"Natsu?" Gray pressed, "I can't help but notice that you were the only one who didn't look surprised by what I said."

"I was, I mean what happened in Isvan was terrible, I just process stuff differently," Natsu sputtered.

"Funny, I never said anything about Isvan," Gray's eyes narrowed as he took in his friend's discomfort.

"Uhm you didn't?" Natsu laughed nervously as his fingers played with the fringes of his scarf in a gesture that Gray recognized all too well. "Pretty sure you did."

"That's it!" Gray grabbed Natsu by his beloved scarf and pulled him closer to him, his other hand already shaped into a fist. "We've got hours to wait, and I'd love nothing better than to beat you into a pulp for getting us into this mess. So spill or else!"

"Guys, come on, we're in the middle of a job," Lucy tried to calm the situation down, " Isn't this reckless even for you?"

"Stay out of it!" Natsu and Gray yelled in unison.

"They wouldn't be so high and mighty if Erza were here," Lucy muttered to Happy making the cat snort in agreement.

Gray stared into Natsu's eyes, catching the way they flickered away from him nervously before he was shoved away forcefully. "Fine, I'll tell you."

Natsu gazed down at his hands as he spoke, "I went into one of your dreams."

"What are you talking about?" Gray was panicking, which dream had Natsu seen? "How is that even possible?"

"Look, don't get mad, okay?" Natsu pleaded, "It was a spell I learned from a book. It was supposed to be a prank. I just wanted to challenge you to a fight when you weren't expecting it. I thought it would be funny." Natsu looked miserable.

"But it wasn't, it was terrible, and I - I saw some of what happened back then," Natsu admitted, "You probably don't remember…"

"You think I don't remember?" Gray retorted, his voice glacial as he tried to keep himself from pouncing at Natsu and beating the ever-living shit out of him for the blatant invasion of his privacy.

"I never did it again, I swear," Natsu was quick to reassure him, "I don't even remember how to do it anymore!"

"You asshole!" Gray seethed, and this time he did punch the moron in the jaw as hard as he could, and he felt no remorse whatsoever. "Do you have any idea what you did?"

Natsu rubbed his jaw, "Okay, I probably deserved that. What are you talking about?"

"Your stupid spell, it somehow changed my dream. For the last seven years, I've watched you give up your life for me. My nightmare turned into Deliora killing _you_!"

Natsu gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish until words finally came out, "I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"I was ten, I just thought it'd be funny. I wasn't expecting… and I felt bad about it ever since." Gray could hear the regret in Natsu's words, and he slowly began to calm down. He looked behind them to see Lucy and Happy staring at them in shock, neither seeming capable of saying anything.

"Can you guys give us a minute?"

"I'm not sure that's such a great idea," Lucy started before Natsu interrupted her.

"We'll be fine, just see if you can find anything more in the ruins, Happy can fly you back to us if you get into any trouble." Natsu smiled at her reassuringly, and Gray could feel the rumblings of jealousy in his stomach, but he ignored it.

They waited for Lucy and Happy to get far enough away before saying anything more, each needing the extra time to figure out how to proceed.

"If you felt so badly, why didn't you tell me before?" Gray demanded angrily.

"How could I?" Natsu pointed out, "You're so fucking private, it's impossible to have that type of conversation with you. Besides, soon after that, you were only interested in using me as a punching bag."

Gray sighed, knowing Natsu was telling the truth. He'd made it his personal mission to both make Natsu stronger and push him away. It was the only way he knew to keep him safe. "Fine, but just for the record, it would have been nice to know."

"Can I ask you something about the dream?" Natsu entreated, olive eyes pleading with Gray.

Gray thought about it and decided it couldn't hurt, with what he'd seen in the dream Natsu already knew more about his past than anyone else in the guild, barring Jiichan. There were some things he wanted to know too, and he wasn't sure they would get another chance to talk about it.

He nodded his head slowly waiting for Natsu's question.

"There was one thing I never understood," Natsu puzzled, "The blood on your hands that appeared out of nowhere. What was that about?"

Gray sucked in his breath, feeling like he'd been punched in the stomach. Damn instinctual lizard!

"I have a lot of blood on my hands, " Gray tried to explain, "My mother and my father both died trying to protect me from that thing."

Gray's voice oozed with hatred as he glared at the frozen demon, "And you've already seen what happened to my Master."

"And then I went and did the same thing," Natsu guessed, frowning as Gray confirmed it with a nod, "I'm so sorry Ice Block. You have to believe I never meant for this to happen."

Gray managed to chuckle, "I know, Pinky. You're not smart enough to pull off something like this on purpose."

"Hey!" Natsu grumbled, even though he knew the ice mage was right. He let the insult pass, not wanting to break the tentative truce they'd reached.

"My turn, why did you do it? You knew you were in a dream, it wasn't real to you."

"It was plenty real, seeing how you were acting made it real to me," Natsu explained slowly making it seem to Gray like he was reliving the experience, the pain in his voice only reinforced that thought. "I couldn't let it kill you, I had to protect you, just like you had been trying to protect me throughout the dream. I guess maybe we're not all that different, huh?"

"I guess not."

"Wait! Is the dream why you were such an asshole to me?"

"Partly. I wanted to make sure you were as strong as you could be," Gray suddenly laughed mischievously, " but you're also annoying as fuck."

Natsu grumbled, but Gray could see an amused smile on his lips, even as he muttered, "You're one to talk."

"Natsu, promise me that if we have to fight this thing, you won't do what you did in the dream."

"How about this?" Natsu hedged, "How about we try to do the one thing we didn't try then?"

"You mean to fight it together?"

"Yeah, I mean we did pretty well against Lullaby,"

"Lullaby was weaker, and we had Erza with us," Gray pointed out, "Nothing against her, but I don't think any of Lucy's spirits are going to be strong enough to help if it came down to it."

Natsu snorted, "You really don't think Erza will show up soon? They sent you to come get me, and we haven't returned. Who do you think is going to be next?"

Gray thought about it and realized Natsu was right, odds were that Erza would get there soon and that could change many things, but only if she got there in time.

"I can't watch you die again, Natsu," Gray said honestly, "Not like that."

"Stop looking at me like that," Natsu complained.

"Like what?"

"Like you already think I'm going to die, I was ten back then. I'm a lot stronger now, so are you!" Natsu reminded him, "If this thing somehow comes back to life we'll take it out, _and_ whoever is behind this. We're Fairy Tail, it's what we do!"

They both grinned at that, feeling reassured by the familiar phrase. Natsu and Gray both sat down, keeping watch over Deliora together.

"Can I ask you one last thing?"

"Are you sure we can handle any more touchy-feely crap?" Gray snorted.

"You're probably right," Natsu agreed and went back to staring at the demon.

"Ugh, just ask. Now I'm curious."

"Uhm okay, it's just that lately I've noticed you staring at me oddly, and your scent changes when you do. When I asked Erza about it, she said I should just ask you, but it never seemed like a good time."

Gray had been expecting all sorts of questions but not that one, and he could feel his cheeks flush with embarrassment at being caught ogling his friend. _Shit! _What was he supposed to say? This wasn't exactly the best time to confess his feelings, or was it? Deliora might kill them, and then he'd never know if his feelings might have been returned.

Natsu peered at him, looking confused once again as he sniffed the air.

"What is wrong with you? You look like Happy does when I catch him sneaking a fish…"

"Level with me, how far away are Lucy and Happy?"

Natsu lifted an eyebrow but did as Gray asked, sniffing the air some more, "Pretty far away, I can barely make out their scents."

This was insanity, Gray knew it, but fortune favored the bold and all that bs that Jiichan loved to spout at them.

"Look, that dream messed me up, I spent a lot of time worrying about you, and then thinking about you and somewhere along the way I started to like you."

"You... like me?" Natsu repeated the words slowly, like someone who was trying to understand a difficult passage in a book. His face scrunched in disbelief as he peered over at Gray.

Gray nodded, and he could feel his face changing colors once again, making him wish he hadn't said anything because he had no idea what Natsu's response meant.

"Well, aren't you going to make fun of me?" Gray snapped when the minutes passed without Natsu saying anything.

"Why would I make fun of you for that?" Natsu stared at Gray with a perplexed expression, "I'm just trying to wrap my head around it, I mean you have to admit you act like you barely tolerate my existence most of the time."

Gray scratched the back of his head, "This is… confusing for me. I've never thought of another guy this way, or girl really, so I've been kind of fighting it."

"You shouldn't fight your feelings. You are what you are, and nothing will change that. Igneel used to say that to me all the time, and now I'm saying it to you." Natsu smiled at Gray, his tone encouraging but his gaze sad as he mentioned his long lost father.

"That sounds wise for an overgrown lizard," Gray retorted, trying desperately to lighten the tone of their conversation. They were already surrounded by his past, and now Natsu was bringing up his. "What else did he have to say?"

"He said that when I fell in love, I should fall in love with the person, regardless of the body they were in."

"Didn't realize dragons were so liberal." Gray smiled.

"I still miss him, you know," Natsu said with a sigh.

"I know," Gray said simply, "I miss my parents and Ur too, but hey at least you might see him again someday."

"You think so?"

"I know so, you're too stubborn to ever give up," Gray smirked as he took a chance and ruffled Natsu's hair roughly, trying to get a rise out of him, "It's one of the things I like about you."

"How did you know you liked me?" Natsu asked seriously.

"I, uhm, think about you a lot, and I worry about you being safe, and sometimes just thinking about some of the things you do brings a smile to my face," Gray answered, feeling incredibly embarrassed but sensing that Natsu was trying to sort through something. "I want to feel closer to you and do things like hug you when you're upset. Uhm, and finding you attractive was sort of a big hint too."

"Is that what that is?" Natsu looked at him with amazement.

Gray nodded, expecting Natsu to realize that's how he felt about Lucy. He looked back to Deliora, not wanting to see the moment Natsu realized he liked someone else.

"I guess I like you too then," Natsu surprised Gray by wrapping him up in a fiery embrace.

"All those things you said, I feel them too." Natsu let go of Gray before the ice mage even had a chance to register what was happening. He grinned cheerfully as he asked, "So, does this mean you're mine?"

Gray was still feeling embarrassed by the whole exchange, but he was able to nod in agreement.

"I haven't had someone of my very own since Igneel left," Natsu said happily, and Gray's heart melted at his innocence. He wanted to kiss him then but was stopped from doing so by a sword being pointed at his neck.

"You were supposed to bring the idiots back, not go with them," Erza growled in displeasure, "I had to hijack a pirate ship to get here."

Natsu and Gray turned to see Lucy and Happy bound and gagged behind a fuming Erza.

With the appearance of Erza, Gray found himself releasing a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. He wasn't sure how the rest of this quest would pan out, but he did know that if it came down to it the three of them would be able to defeat Deliora like they had Lullaby. He would trust his friends to help him overcome his demons, instead of pushing them away like he'd done before.

And when all was said and done, he and Natsu would embark on their own adventure. Gray felt himself growing excited about his future for the first time since he was a child and looking at the ice that covered the demon he knew that wherever Ur was, she was glad.

A/N: I finished it, I'm not entirely thrilled with it but I know it's the best I can do for now. Perhaps I'll revisit it at a later time. Thank you to everyone who left me messages of encouragement. My husband has his first interview tomorrow, so hopefully something will pan out soon. This is my last entry for Gratsu Week as my bonus day entry has already been posted. Thank you so much for reading!


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